How to be Kind

What enables kindness? In order to be kind to yourself or others you need to know yourself, tend to yourself and hear your self.

Who amongst us has not experienced another person attempting to be kind but instead encountered someone doing something that is just another way of them tending to themselves. I was gifted a truck by an uncle. It was apparent from the start that he needed to get rid of it, and he was attached to it. It was difficult for him to let go of it but he was at an age where it no longer made sense for him to have a truck. If he could give it to me he would feel better about letting it go. But, I didnt need a truck. And I lived in California and the truck was in Florida. I would either need to pay for transit or take time off work to drive it across country. It would have been kinder for my uncle to realize how difficult it was for him to part with the truck, and tend to himself, care for himself, and mourn his own aging. In order for him to be kind to me he would have had to know himself, hear himself and tend to himself.

Each of us has a choir of internal voices that was formed by experiences in our life. The voices rehearse against repeating experiences, or recall feelings associated with past experiences. They intend to protect us. If we don't tend to those voices on our own, they will limit our capacity to be non-reactive and be present. They limit our capacity to hear others.

If we want to enable kindness to ourselves or others, tend to ourselves first, hear ourselves.