Signs of an effective leader - curiosity
Curiosity: The Ultimate Sign of Emotional Health in Leadership True leadership requires bridging the "infinite distance" between individuals. Drawing on the wisdom of Rilke and Watership Down, this post explores how cultivating deep curiosity allows leaders to move beyond reactivity, embrace vulnerability, and unlock the unique potential of their teams.
David Buechner
11/20/20252 min read
In 2005 I wrote that there are as many metaphors for God as there are people on the planet. We each bring a unique set of assumptions, skills, desires, values, fears and passions to our lives, work and loves. Rilke wrote that it is the job of lovers to recognize the expanse between them. "But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.” [Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet]. It is also the job of leaders and humans. Living with curiosity is the greatest sign of emotional health because it shows you are capable of vulnerability, non-reactivity, individuation, and that you have a willingness to see others as distinct. With curiosity comes capability for collaboration.
As a leader I always strive to get people to show up with their passion and unique proclivities. In the book Watership Down, - a story of a group of rabbits surviving and thriving amidst danger - Hazel, guides a group of rabbits as they escape their home and seek a new warren. He is known for his bravery, intelligence, and caring nature. And more than that he is known for his leadership. He embraces the uniqueness in those he leads and exploits the passions and differences of those he leads for the benefit of the group.
We cannot see what the group we lead can accomplish unless we know the group we lead. We cannot know the group we lead unless we are free to see them as different, unique separate individuals with unique passions, values and perceptions. And we cannot see what is unique about them unless we are curious, and able to be vulnerable - get to know them.
In the coaching work we do together you tend to yourself so you can be less reactive, be more present real time with others, so - above all else - you can notice the unique set of wonderful people in front of you and be curious about them.